PIRIE JONES GROSSMAN
OWNER/EXECUTIVE PRODUCER AT DESTINY PRODUCTIONS
MEMBER, BOARD OF DIRECTORS AT SUN VALLEY WELLNESS INSTITUTE
I was only the second family member who was divorced from hundreds of years back in my family history. Why couldn't I find and stay with one man? They weren't losers. I was the one who left most of them. So why did this keep happening in my life?
I recently found the answer AND it was a long journey but so worth it!
It started by my decision to enroll in a 2 year Masters program in Spiritual Psychology, at a school called, USM, University of Santa Monica. I made a commitment to attend one weekend every month for two years! I needed to heal. I carried so much pain within me, especially after my last divorce and then my father dying suddenly, just two weeks after we separated. I was an emotional, physical and spiritual mess! And here's the sad part. Not many people knew it. I kept my pain within. I would act like everything was great and that I could handle it. I was a strong woman on the outside who was bleeding on the inside. Which by the way was physically true. I was rushed to the hospital because I kept experiencing so much pain in my abdominal area. When the doctor opened me up in surgery, he found 21 tumors throughout my body. It was a miracle they were all benign! My doctor told me a few days after my surgery that he thought he knew me until he looked inside. No truer words were spoken. I knew I needed help. I needed help not only for me but for my two beautiful children. I wanted to be the best Mother I could be to them, because I loved them so much. And what I learned was that I needed to learn how to love myself! And that's the journey I’m going to share with you.
I saved my life because I learned what it meant to be an authentic heart centered loving woman. So my question to you is, How is your heart doing right now? Do you know? Have you stopped long enough to inquire? How do you feel inside yourself right now? Do you really love yourself? Is it even difficult for you to say? It may sound selfish to you? I know it did me. You see I was brought up that you never put yourself before others. That was way too selfish. I became a professional CARETAKER OF OTHERS! I couldn't feel anything inside me. I became what you wanted me to be. I didn't live authentically until just a few years ago. I learned that most people showed me love and respect if I acted a certain way, looked a certain way or performed a certain way. I learned that by becoming successful in life, I was loved. If I gave my time, talent and treasure to many non-profits in my community, I was loved and respected. But what if I didn't want to do those things anymore or be that certain way or become what others wanted? Would I be enough? Would I be enough for me? Could I just "be" and not "do" to be loved?
The word authentic is defined as not false or copied, genuine; real. I needed to find out who the authentic Pirie was....I didn't know. My whole concept of "who I was" was wrapped up in ego. I became what I did. And I didn't know how to love myself. I knew how to love you. I knew how to be in relationship with others, I could give to you…But not to me! I became depleted. I needed to learn how to love and care for myself or I was going to burn myself out sooner than later!
I love Rumi's quote:
"If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself"
Until you love yourself authentically by accepting, and showing your magnificent true self, others lose the opportunity to see who you truly are and can then show you how much they love you. That also includes yourself by the way!
Self-love means knowing who you are. It's not the ego part. The ego doesn't know who you are, our Authentic Self, our Higher best self, loves you and knows who you truly are.
Self-love is how you really feel about yourself. The self-judgments that we place against ourselves is what's destroying all the love we should be experiencing with who we are. Judgments like shame, not feeling good enough, or worthy, or not lovable enough take up all the space in our hearts. Every time you belittle or shame yourself, ask your Authentic Self, to remind you of who you are! Let those judgments and old beliefs go! Forgive yourself for believing those judgments of who you are in the world. You're not your judgments! You are love! Forgive what needs to be forgiven. Release what isn't serving you anymore in your life!
Another way of loving ourselves is trusting ourselves. When you get quiet enough, you can hear the still small voice of your heart. Trust what you know in your heart. It's the truth that's living inside of you. You're cherishing your own heart by listening to it. Your security comes by trusting yourself.
Another quote I want to share with you is by Melody Beattie:
"The healing and magic we seek are not someplace else. They are within each of us".
That's so true!
Practice saying the mantra, "I AM LOVABLE!"
If you try to make yourself into something you're not, you're not loving yourself and how do you expect others to love and respect you if you're not loving yourself? We are mirrors for each other. Do you like what is being reflected back to you?
My beautiful spiritual teachers at USM, Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick said, "Don't be afraid to look deeply into another person for what you will See is truly beautiful. You will also be aware that what you are Seeing is your Self."
You are love! That's your Highest Self...Love. When you say the words, I love you, you're saying thank you for who you are and I'm grateful for you in my life.
Loving yourself and others is an attitude of compassion. Being gentle with yourself is a self-honoring choice. You'll find when you find that authentic heart centered woman inside of you, she'll radiate to everyone around her! You have all the necessary resources to effectively love yourself and others. Just remember to put your own oxygen mask on first! Then you can assist those who need your help after you take care of yourself.
Loving yourself is an inside job. When you're taking care of yourself, you won't need someone else to.
You are a Divine being having a human experience!
One more quote to leave you with is:
"Stop treating yourself as an afterthought! Eat delicious food, walk into the sunshine, jump into the ocean! Speak your truth you are carrying in your heart like a hidden treasure. Be silly, playful, kind and weird! There is no time for anything else!"
Bellissimo
Loving you all!
Pirie Jones Grossman